last night my father said “good night mario” because i had been driving him around today and apparently going too fast, like the car racer mario andretti

but i didn’t know what he was talking about so i just sleepily replied “good night luigi”

(via aboutnineteenkoalas)


a little girl in the grocery store just asked me if i was a princess because my dress was pretty and i said everyone’s a princess and she pointed to her dad and asked if he was a princess too and her dad said yep its true im a princess and she looked so happy idk it was adorable

(via endless-slumber)




If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

(via 9yellowcatfish)


My seven month old does this pose every time he notices I am taking pictures of him

(via issaybella)


Today my friend told me that his older brother locks him in the closet so often that his mom leaves a whistle there so she knows to get him out

(via crushedbyreality)

"‎’Slut’ is attacking women for their right to say yes. ‘Friend Zone’ is attacking women for their right to say no."

And “bitch” is attacking women for their right to call you on it (via elovers)

(Source: emilys-nostalgia, via crushedbyreality)



"i was born in the wrong century," the girl sighs as she imagines a future where women have full ownership of their own bodies

Pleasantly surprised where this went

(via hashtagnetflix)

(Source: missdontcare-x, via aworldfullofwinchesters)



tumblr mobile users be like

i hope you know i waited at least 5 minutes for this to load

(via colestorybro)